The Universal Steps of Flirting

By Daniel Gibbs

Not only humans, but also animals do flirting. In the animal kingdom usually males do have impressive-looking feathers, manes or colored markings to attract females. In the human world, it is vice versa: woman have taken up the role of making themselves noticed by males.

According to recent research, 90% of time women initiate flirting. Men do most of the courting, but only after women have invited them with flirting signals. Both animals and humans follow specific, widely recognized rituals for courting. Humans have a 5-step pattern.

First, there is the eye contact. A quick glance is not enough, flirting requires long-held, deliberate eye contact, that is noticed by the other person. This can be the easiest, safest and perhaps nicest step of flirting, so don't be dismissive. Then people smile: this shows you are interested in somebody. It can be interpreted also as an invitation.

The next step is preening: unconsciously you start to arrange your looks, and start positioning yourself in the most possible way to be noticed. You then start talking with the man or woman you are interested to: you are disclosing information about yourself, and also ask questions about the other. Then you will try to find an excuse to touch yourself and the other person: this will also let the other know you're interested.

You must remember, there are two people needed for a flirt. There are cases when your signals will go unnoticed., and then you must give up. Flirting is very much like dancing: the movements are different, but at some level they are coordinated.

Your role in flirtation is determined by your gender. Those women are successful at flirting who can send courtship signals to men. Men's success is very much influenced by how they read the signals being sent to them, and by how they respond. Both parties have the capability to interpret signals they receive from the other.

If a man can't read the signals sent by woman, it can have difficulties in finding a partner. Women may have a problem in finding a partner that matches their expectations.

There are situations when each person waits for the other to send the courtship signals, which can result in a distressed feeling from both. So even if you are a man, and you would be supposed to wait for the signals of the woman, you can initiate if you feel that the woman might be interested in you. Just follow your instincts.

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